I hate it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is asleep. He’s 5 and it’s past his bedtime!
Today’s 3 year olds can turn on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I ate mud.
So, you drive across town to a gym to walk on a treadmill?
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes 5 years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom “John” and renamed it “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the “Jim” this morning.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Retired - “On time” is when you get there.
It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.
Lately, you’ve noticed that people your age are much older than you.
“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.” ~ Mark Twain
